Family Friday – Rack-o

I have mentioned that my oldest has some sensory processing issues.  We (and I do mean we, as in the whole family) went through occupational therapy so that we all learned the skills needed to help her.  In the process I realized that Hubby and I both have some sensory issues as well.  Throw 3 of us in a room with all different sensory issues and it is can be a little tense!  But I digress.

One of the things that she needed to work on was sequencing.  We had some amazing occupational therapists who really tried to make the whole thing fun instead of just dry mental exercises.  I came home after every therapy session with a list of games.  One of them that Little Bit loved was called Rack-o.  I had never heard of this game.  In fact, I could not find it in town.  Luckily my Daddy loves to look for things on the computer.  He found it.  It is a staple when we pack games for camping trips.  It is another one of those games where the concept is simple, but the play is challenging.

Thoughtful Thursday – They never let me move up…

My grandmother had a 5 room house, including the bathroom.  This equaled roughly 750 square feet.  It was in this house that she raised 7 children.  This same house was where she welcomed and entertained each of her grandchildren as if they were the only grandchild she had.  This same house was where we met for holidays.  By the time that I remember holidays, 3 of my mother’s siblings had moved out of state.  But the rest of us gathered every Thanksgiving, the Sunday before Christmas, the 4^th of July, and any other time during warm weather when we could have a “wiener roast”.  A life time of childhood memories were created in that house.

Image by laffy4k via Flickr

Thanksgiving was a big meal.  There was always a huge turkey.  Gramma would fix her awesome dressing.  The Aunts would all discuss the best way to make gravy while they threw different ingredients into the pot.  This discussion occurred each year.  I never did figure out why.  One would think they would figure it out and write down the directions after all those years! Maybe that is why I can’t make gravy – I never saw it made the same way twice!  There were pineapple slices coated with green Jell-O.  There were peanut butter rice crispy treats.  Mashed potatoes swam in butter.  Bacon slices floated in the green beans.   Golden corn was heaped into a bowl, emitting that wonderful sweet corn smell.  The yeasty smell of rolls wafted through the house.  Different desserts made their appearance through the years, but the main meal never changed.

In the kitchen were the 5 adult ladies.  In the living room were the 5 adult men and various teen cousins watching football.  Running through the

house, getting underfoot, and banging out the door were the rest of us cousins.  Eventually the call would come that dinner was ready.  We would all gather in the kitchen where we would all join hands for grace – all 20 of us – not including any stray friends one of us may have brought along, or boyfriends or girlfriends that were being introduced to the family.  Then the rush to find seats started.  There was the grown up table and there was the kids table.  Sometimes, if there was an extra card table or two, there would be the middle table.  But me, I was always at the kids table.  This was the table reserved for those of us above 4 but under 12.  Sometimes, once you 12 you were allowed to move up to the adult table if there was room, or if there was a middle table you could eat with the “big cousins”.  But me, being the 3^rd to the youngest of the grandkids, was perpetually at the kids table.

Image by juliegever via Flickr

This table was always a card table that invariable was bumped or jiggled which resulted in some sort of spill.  It was always covered with an old sheet that soaked up all the various spills and plate jiggling. This table did not have chairs.  Nope, furniture that was designed for sitting was reserved for adult and older cousins.  Those of us at the kids table got the lard cans.  For those of you who did not grow up in the country, when a pig was raised on the farm and subsequently butchered, the fat was rendered into lard which was returned to the family in large cans – roughly 24 inches tall and 16 inches around.  The cans had tops that could be removed to access the lard and then put back on – similar to today’s Tupperware lids.  Only these were made of metal.  And the metal lids had creases around the edges to accommodate the can.  The ridges were not rounded or smooth – they were sharp and hard.  Not sharp as in they would cut skin, but sharp as in they would have been great for biscuit cutters – if you wanted a biscuit that large.

They would be padded with a pillow.  Not a bed pillow.  But one of those pillows that were used on rocking chairs and metal lawn chairs.  Pillows that had maybe ¼ inch of foam in them.  Pillows that had been in use since before my conception.  I was never quite sure what use those pillows were.  I think they were a tease.  They never managed to soften the top of the cans.  The never managed to pad the lip of the can top – the ones that prevented all circulation from the knees down, resulting in much wiggling and groaning and numb feet.  But once that plate of food was placed in front of us, life did not get any better.

As each cousin reached the magical age of 12, responsibilities changed.  The girls were expected to help out in the kitchen.  The boys were expected to help clear the table (if they were caught and forced to help out) and then watch football or head outside to play football or kickball.  Those of us at the kids table – we were free agents.  We were never expected to help; in fact we were shooed out of the kitchen.  We could watch the ballgame, but usually the cloud of smoke would begin to push us outside.  Once outside we would run and play and have a great time.

Now, I am sure you are asking why I am boring you with all the details of a very crowded, yet normal event in my life.  Well, Thursdays are about what made me the way I am.  When I was about 11 our family started to really grow.  Some of my cousins were getting married and bringing their spouses.  They started having babies.  Before long there just was no more room at my grandmother’s house, and she was getting just old enough that she did not need to have to deal with all of us invading her home for a full meal.  So we started to alternate where Thanksgiving was hosted.  Each “Aunt and Uncle” took a turn at hosting.  The food was the same, the fussing over the gravy was unchanged, the football game on the TV was still playing, but suddenly there was no kids table.  Everyone filled their plate, buffet style, and headed to one of the folding buffet tables scattered throughout the home of whoever was hosting that year.  Children mixed with adults.  That magical event – moving to the adult table – that right of passage, was denied to me just as I was on the cusp of what I considered “adulthood”.  I know it sounds dorky that I mourn the loss of that opportunity.

Sheila over at To Love, Honor and Vacuum talks about this same topic – the perpetual adolescence that hase become standard in our society.  When I got married and Hubby and I started talking about expanding our family I found myself hesitating.  I kept waiting for someone to tell me that I had “arrived”, that I was an adult, that I was old enough and mature enough to have children.  There are days that I still find myself waiting for that.  You would think at 43 I would figure out that I am way old enough!  Now, I am not blaming my family for stunting my emotional growth because I was never allowed to sit at the adult table during Thanksgiving Dinner.  But I will say that Sheila’s post really initiated analysis of the origins of some of my insecurities – especially those related to my role in my family, both the family I live with daily, and my extended family.  It has also made me re-evaluate how I interact with my own children and utz and encourage them towards their own adult path.

Wacky Wednesday

Hope your Christmas preparations are going smoothly.  If you are having any problems getting into the holiday spirit I hope this will help!

 

 

 

Trashy Tuesday – The Baby Steps

I have made it a full week.

I have thrown away, or disposed of in some manner, at least one item every day for the last week.

You know what?

I can’t even tell!!!!!!

Does that tell you how much clutter is hanging around my house?!

I think I am going to have to increase the amount of items I throw away each day.

Motivation Monday – Personal Growth Update

The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.
Robert Cushing

 

Well, I did it.

I made it through the church social function.

I drove there – BY MYSELF

I entered the venue – BY MYSELF

I walked around all the tables and looked at the decorations – BY MYSELF

I initiated a conversation with a woman I had never met before – BY MYSELF

And you know what –

I had a great time.

A friend of mine showed up a little later and we sat together.  We had been friends at our old parish.  I did not realize that she was part of this parish until I ran into her dropping her son off at VBS a couple of years ago.  Life had gotten in the way and other than saying a quick hello, we had not had the chance to reconnect. She had encouraged a mutual friend of ours to come along to the event. All three of us sat together, drank wine, ate, laughed, and listened to an awesome presentation.  I even won a door prize!

After the scheduled part of the evening was over, my friend and I stood around and chatted for another hour.

We laughed some more, cried a little, learned how much we each grown over the last few years.  The years fell away as we shared as only women can.

Image by ♥ Crystal Writer ♥ via Flickr

As I walked out to my car it was snowing.  The world was quiet as it only is when blanketed by snow.  The flakes glittered as they passed through the street light beams.  I walked along, quietly humming Christmas carols, occasionally trying to catch a snow flake on my tongue, and praised God that He had given me the strength to meet this personal challenge and allowed me to find Him the heart of another woman.

Family Friday

OK – I am trying to catch up.  We had some computer issues at our own home! So while I actually wrote this on the 9th, I am dating it for last Friday

My oldest daughter received a game from her Godmother for her birthday.   We seek out certain games for our children, especially this my oldest, because we want to inspire life-long learning, and in her case, over come some sensory processing issues, in a fun and family friendly way.  Well, this one certainly fits the bill.

While recommended for ages 10+, my 6-year-old (now 7) was able to play it very well with a little adult help. This game is hilarious to play with the kids. It is fascinating to see how their minds work. We were playing this over Thanksgiving weekend with the kids and my parents. After several rounds the girls wanted to go off and do something else. The adults could not stop playing!

If you are looking for a game that will work equally well for kids and adults, I highly recommend this game! Simple to learn. Easy to play. But the game will never be the same twice.  This game would be enough to make me institute family game night in our house if we did not already!

Thoughtful Thursday…..

Well,  I had a great post scheduled for today.  I have been writing it for over a week (it was supposed to go up last week, but with the rush on the 1 computer at my parents’ house, I did not get it done and posted).  I am still going to post it sometime this week, but I just could not get into finishing it today.

You see, I am facing a crisis.

It is a personal crisis.  One to which many people can NOT relate – especially women.

I have to go to a Christmas event tonight.

See?

Most people would think this is a wonderfully fun thing.  Most women love the idea of dressing up and going out for wine& appetizers, and hear a great key-note speaker.  Most women would love the idea of going out to buy a new outfit for the event.

In case you have not figured it out – I am not most women.

I love my house.  I love being in my house.  I love working in my house.  I love having people come to my house.  I love caring for anyone who steps through my front door.  But I don’t like to go OUT the door.  I don’t like meeting new people.  And I REALLY don’t like to go shopping.

Image by Faustus909 via Flickr

So let’s look at the scoreboard for this event:

It is at my church – 1 pt for the event

Since we are relatively new at getting involved at the parish, I won’t know very  many people.  In fact I am only aware of 3 people there that I will know! – 1 pt for me.

This event is for women only.  I have historically not had a lot of fun when it comes to groups of women. (That is a whole ‘nother post”). – 1 pt for me.

I really enjoy listening to the priest who will be giving the keynote address – 1 pt for the event.

This is an evening event where I know I need to wear something other than jeans or sweat pants.  I own 1 pair of navy blue dress pants (dockers style), and one pair of dressy black pants which require 3.5 inch heels because they are so long, and one spring dress.  I don’t particularly like to dress up.  I have been told that it is a come as you are event, but it is at church, so I need to at least look a little nice.  So I will dress up some.  I don’t like to dress up. (If this had required me to go shopping, this would have been 100 points for me) – 1 pt for me.

Advent is a season of preparation and growth.  This will be a growing experience for me. 1 pt for the event.

This requires me to leave my family for an evening – which includes missing snuggle time. – 1 pt for me.

This will help me establish some friendships and a support system within our “new” spiritual home. – 1 pt for the event.

So – when I add up the points is appears that it is a draw.  I know the benefits will eventually outweigh the social anxiety I will feel.  But getting that final push to get out the door is going to be an issue.

T -60 minutes….

Better get my make-up on.

 

Wacky Wednesday – Goals, Gifts and Memories

Goals

Yesterday I posted about a new goal that I am starting.  I even bragged that I had started a new habit.  Do you know how I know I have a new habit?  Do you even want to know?  Sure you do.

I use an online program called HabitForge.  It is a free program that allows you to set up your desired habit.  The program will then send you an e-mail each day asking if you followed-thru the day before.  It then has a little diagram showing how well you are doing.   I am one that loves to mark things off (to-do lists are my specialty, though I do have issues actually working them).  Being reminded each day keep me on track.  At the end of 21 days you have the option of continuing getting reminders for the next 3 weeks or ending it.

Gifts

No, this part is not about Christmas, or even about gifts for just me.  This is about the gift we can give our children – the gift of our time.   Kat over at Inspired to Action wrote about how to be a rock star to your children with 30 minutes and pink tablecloth.

Then she asked for readers to tell her things we do to become rock stars to our own children.  I submitted a few ideas.  Not only did she use them in her next article, Be A Rockstar…Today, but she even mentioned my name!  I feel like a celebrity!  She has 128 different ways to be a rockstar with your kids.  Check it out!  It really does not take much – but it means so very much to your child, and to your own heart.

Memories

The rest of this post is devoted to my youngest daughter and her First Mom.  Today our family celebrates that God blessed the world with the gift of our youngest daughter.  It is a bittersweet day for me and probably for her as she grows up.   I pray for everyone who ever was and is currently in her life. (Written last year on her birthday)

Misty weather in the low to mid 50s.

No indoor heat.

Labor pains.

The final push.

A girl – a healthy, perfect baby girl – lots of dark hair, little button nose, chubby cheeks, long fingers and toes.

A decision to be made within the next 48 hours. Not enough time to know who this little person was who had been growning inside her for 9 months.

Did she want to know this little person or was it easier to not know?

Does she cry for her little girl as her little girl cries for her years later?

Does she wonder about the woman who is raising her child as I wonder about her?

Does she wonder how her daughter tilts her head when thinking, or how she skips when she on her way to do something, or her ability to figure out math problems and sound out words?

Does she wonder what her giggle sounds like when her neck is nuzzled?

Does she share a love for all things pink and lavender with her daughter?

Today, as we celebrate with milk shakes after church, our table will filled not only with those of us laughing, but also by the shadow people – the people who gave her the precious gift of life, the people who live in the background only because we don’t know who they are and how to draw them out of the shadows and into the light of the love of our family, but more importantly, into the light of her eyes. They will probably forever live in the shadows because of circumstances beyond their control and our control – the victims of the politcal machine that controls the fate of so many in EBs birth country.

So today I send out prayers for the family who has no idea who this child has become, for the family that had to make a decision that I cannot even hope to comprehend from my warm and comfortable house in a country that does not have the same social, political, and filial pressures as theirs. I pray for peace in their hearts and in the heart of our little girl, for while she lives in my house, calls me Mama, loves me as unconditionally as I love her, she is not just mine, but theirs as well. I will say prayers of thanksgiving that they chose to bring this little girl into the world when her life could easily have been snuffed out.

Our little girl has so much to offer this world of ours. She is incredibly smart. She has a wickedly funny sense of humor. She is sassy. She is loving and giving. She is physically beautiful – saucy eyes, soft hair, long, strong limbs. She has a gentle heart, though it is often hidden by her childish desire to ALWAYS get her way. She loves to avoid manual labor, but will work for hours on an art project. She knows how to push her sister’s buttons and drive her crazy, but will staunchly defend her if someone is picking on her. There is so much of all 4 of her parents in her it is impossible to separate the characteristics that each of us have given her. Together we are creating and molding such a sensitive, wonderful young girl.

So when the flicker of the candles’ light illuminate EB’s face as she makes her wish over her cake, I know I will catch a fleeting glimpse of those people standing in the shadows. Maybe one day the light will reach far enough that they can step out of the shadows and we can fully share and enjoy this miracle that is our daughter.

 

 

Trashy Tuesday

OK – I am going to get really trashy.

Image via Wikipedia

I have been getting up and doing my morning routine (up, shower, hair, sometimes makeup, breakfast and medication) long enough that it can be considered a habit. I tried to add exercise in there, but that just did not work. While I know I need to do that, I am not going to stress about it. I am making a conscious effort to not sit all day, but to get up often and get a glass of water or change the laundry, etc. So while it is not 30 minutes of increased heart rate, it is movement.

Instead, I am going to set a new habit routine.

I am going to dispose of something that is sitting around my house every day. This does not include disposing of the junk mail each day. This means looking around and seeing what I do and do not use, determining what I can live without and getting it out of my house. Does anyone want to join me? I would love to hear what people are getting rid of and how they are getting rid of it – trash, donate, recycle, freecycle, reuse, repurpose, Craigslist, garage sale?

By this time next year I figure I will have a house  purged of a huge amount of junk, an oldest daughter who does not feel like she is living her nightmare in the house, a younger daughter who will have learned how to not be a hoarder, a husband that will lift my yarn buying ban, fewer allergies from all the dust that is collecting around the house, and a routine for keeping my house neat!

So, for those who want to join me, here are the “rules”:

Image via Wikipedia

If paper comes into the house, it must be dealt with as soon as it enters the door – sort, act on it, or throw it away.

Image via Wikipedia

Create a loose plan of attack – (especially if your house is a bad as mine is right now) – I am choosing a couple of counters in my “Butler’s pantry” and kitchen that seem to collect junk. I want to get those cleaned off so that I can create a “landing pad” and “control station” for my family. As those get cleaned off, I will head to other parts of the downstairs, then move upstairs. I also intend to throw one thing away in my office until all those boxes and stacks on the credenza and in the corners are gone.

Install the One in/One out rule – This means that if anyone in the family gets a gift, they must get rid of something else.  That also means they need to immediately find a home for the new item.  It can’t just lay around the house.  This is very important since Christmas is coming up!

Image via Wikipedia

 

Come back each Tuesday (or more often if you like!) and let me know how you are doing – I am one of those people who need be held accountable for what I am going to do.  So I promise to be your accountability partner if you want one.

 

Today I am going to clean out my “purse basket” on the butler’s pantry counter.  This is a basket where I normally keep my purse and keys.  It is so full of other stuff that I can’t fit my purse in there anymore, and my keys become lost.

So awaaaaaaaaaay we go!

Motivation Monday and a Blogcation

Hi all –
I promise I have not disappeared. Just when I promised daily posts I go off and leave! We went out-of-town for a long weekend at my parents’ house where there were 6 of us sharing 1 computer. Needless to say, I did not get much internet time. I do have my Thoughtful Thursday post almost ready (it will be late but it will be posted) from last week. I also have a great item that I want to talk about for my Family Friday, as well.

I don’t have a whole quote for today. What I have is a set of words.   Sunday started Advent for many Christians – a time of anticipation and preparation of our hearts for the birth of Jesus. There were several words that popped out at me during the homily yesterday. I am just going to write them and let you sit with them. They are going to mean something different to each person during this frenzied time leading up to Christmas. I would love to hear YOUR feelings about these words…

Waiting

Preparation

Anticipation

Lists

Patience